Intentional parenting part 2

I don't have any of this written down so it may sound more like rambling than anything else. I mentioned at the end of my last post that I would tell you how intentional parenting looks in practical terms for our family.

I can claim nothing for myself in these things that we do. As I mentioned two of my favorite books are "Don't Make Me Count to Three" and "Raising Godly Tomatoes" so most of the things that we do come from those. It seems that most of the altercations in our home involve our two little boys so when that happens I usually have to discipline both of them but we will focus on what I do when I can clearly see that one child needs to be disciplined. I try to calmly take the offending child to his/her room and ask them about what happened, such as " Were you being kind to your brother when you took that toy out of his hand?" Usually the answer comes out, "Yes" and I then proceed to tell him "No, that wasn't kind" and then why, as well as a toddler can understand. I do give a discipline on the bottom if that is needed and then I take the child back out to apologize and and to "redo" the incident in the correct way. Another thing that we do is to train the children to obey "Right Away, all the way, with a happy heart". I think that came from the "Don't make me count to three" book. We all know that consistency on our parts as parents is such an important key to child training. I definitely see a difference in behaviour when I am not consistent, especially with one child. Another thing we train for is that "Delayed obedience is disobedience". I think that is where we can keep ourselves as parents from falling into the bad habit of repeating our selves to our children and having the tone of our voice go up an octave each time that we repeat it. If we teach our children that delayed obedience is disobedience and we consistently follow through with a discipline when they disobey, then we should find ourselves having to discipline less. None of us as parents wants to spend all of our time disciplining our children so I guess the goal is to work on things until the children know what to expect and then only have to put out the fires every now and then.

We live in a very child oriented society which you see when you go out to go shopping. Meaning, alot of children these days are handed most things they cry for. They are not taught to wait, to obey or to be grateful. The Bible says: "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly" Proverbs 13:24 and " For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights" Proverbs 3:12. Clearly we are to discipline our children, but not out of anger because they are bugging us but because we love them and we want them to know the right way to behave. I remember when our first child was little, so many years ago, our pastor saying something like..."an undisciplined child is an unlovely child". Basically what he was saying is what we all know to be true, a child who is disciplined and has self control is much more pleasant to be around than a child who is screaming their head off to get their own way.

To sum up my rambling thoughts on the subject...we should make the most of every opportunity to train our children, intentionally, in the way they should go. We aren't just given these children by God to make ourselves feel better or to just have them. We are given them as a gift, a treasure, a heritage. What right have we to neglect to train them as our Lord tells us to do?